On Starting Over: Five Lessons Learned

Beginning our sixth week in Portugal, we’re learning, learning, learning. Acquiring little bits of knowledge that don’t necessarily fit together, but that we hope one day will coalesce to move us beyond the total newbie stage.

Here are our top five lessons learned so far.

Put politeness ahead of the To-Do list. Where we are in Porto, Portugal’s second largest city, everyone starts a conversation, email or text with bom dia or boa tarde, good morning or good afternoon. No matter how urgent the message.

It sounds simple, but like a shot of strong espresso, it has a lingering effect. An effect that very well could have been the motivation for the nice thing that happened to me yesterday on a city bus I rode home from the aquatic center where we swim each week.

The driver-alert stop button near me doesn’t work as we approach my disembarking point. The woman behind me sees my frustration and, with a smile and nod, pushes the button next to her, even though she is riding to a later stop. “Obrigado,” I say. Thanks.

I’m not saying this kind of thing doesn’t happen in the United States. It’s a mere anecdotal example. There have been others, but not enough to support an academic conclusion on the cultural differences between Portugal and the U.S. today. Still, the incident stays with me.

An illustration that acts of kindness seem less random here? Perhaps. Whatever, it’s lovely to behold.

Buy local products. Portuguese products are gorgeous. Example below, an all-cotton blanket I bought at a 30% discount during Black Friday sales.

(Yes, they have Black Friday here, and for many stores, the sales continue through December.) The extra-firm latex mattress we bought for our bed is a local product, too, from a company called Colunex, and it is wonderful.

Speaking of bedding, we’ve also learned that one practically needs a math degree to shop for it in Portugal! Standard, queen and king sizes don’t exist. It’s all sized in centimeters. Do the sheet sizes correspond with the mattress sizes they’re suited for, or is the measurement on the package the actual size of the sheets?

Two very kind salesladies at the big department store here, El Corte Inglés, spent several hours helping us figure it out. Yes, at the end of the day, they scored a four-digit sale, but they went out of their way to make sure we were satisfied with our purchases.

As I said, acts of kindness seem less random here.

The purchases arrived at our apartment in three different installments over the following weeks–bedframe, headboard, mattress, pillows, linens, etc. It was complicated. But the result is a master and a guest bedroom guaranteed for a good night’s sleep.

While we’re on the topic of spending money, I should mention that three medications prescribed by my Porto cardiologist were each significantly cheaper than the over-the-counter cold medicine Ted bought last week. The kicker? His was a week-long supply, while mine will last 60 days. These were out-of-pocket expenses, not covered by our insurance plan. None of them came close to breaking the bank. (We’ll talk more about our positive healthcare experience later. It has been amazing so far.)

Be prepared to meet people from everywhere. Last week, I greeted our neighbors’ once-a-week doggie-daycare provider with “Muito prazer,” pleased to meet you. It turned out the Portuguese was unnecessary; she is from Australia. We have people in our building from Austria, North Carolina, South America. Porto is truly a melting pot … where everyone we’ve met, on our side of town at least, seems determined to get along together, to celebrate our differences and the vibrant community that exists here.

The Indian Italian restaurant within walking distance of our apartment is a prime example. Lamb tikka and lasagna? Why not? It’s a very nice restaurant. Suitable for a casual lunch or a quiet evening out.

And a night and day difference from the McDonald’s and other fast food purveyors one finds in Porto. Indeed, the U.S. presence is unavoidable here, though not so much in the older, central part of Porto as in the big new shopping malls outside the city, where you can find everything from Starbucks coffee to Taco Bell blandness, from iPhones to Nike sweatsuits and Columbia walking shoes (sold in European sizes, of course).

We are determined to make only occasional visits to those places–though helpful they are when you need a new pair of shoes with brands you are familiar with.

Carry an umbrella hooked over a forearm. It felt a bit Professor Higgins at first, stuffy and tweedy, but everyone does it in Porto during the rainy season. With the frequent downpours here, an umbrella is a necessary appendage, so why not carry it in a way that keeps the thumbs free to Google map the way home? (Which, we admit, we have had to do on more than one occasion.)

Enjoy real life. Our first few weeks here have been quite different for us, world travelers that we are. Instead of bounding outside each day to visit a list of world-renowned sights, we were home waiting for the washing machine repairman. Or spending the day buying bedding, as mentioned above. Or getting local transportation passes, Portuguese phone numbers, debit cards, cable service, a TV and a piece of furniture to place it on. All this stuff takes time. We’re enjoying every minute of it.

But the spectacular scenic photos will have to wait.

Instead, here’s a photo of the current status of our living room, including a cool metal and rough-hewn wood coffee table we bought at Chic’House, a terrific furniture store that sells imports from Africa and India. And two chairs going for half price from a stylish lighting store near us, EGLO. (They sell a few pieces of furniture, too.)

The rug and TV console are from RugVista and LaRedoute, respectively, two online purveyors of household items. They deliver in Portugal. On time. Efficiently. And oh so cheerfully, no matter how heavy the load. (What is it about the people in Porto?)

So, inch by inch–or I should say centimeter by centimeter–it’s coming together, our new life in Portugal.

Next will be language lessons, a January visit to Lisbon to apply for a two-year residency visa (extending our stay beyond the current four-month limit), getting to know Porto beyond the basics.

And who knows? We might even find time to play tourist again.

P.S. Last week, we did visit the famous Ponte Luís I bridge that crosses the Douro River. It was designed in 1879 by Gustave Eiffel himself, and it’s a beautiful, tourist-crammed sight on a sunny Sunday afternoon.

I like to think that the spiral ladder climbing up the bridge’s support–we assume it’s a service ladder of some sort–is emblematic of the challenge everyone faces as they relocate to a new country.

Steep and scary. But doable if you stay focused. And if you love a change of scenery as much as we do.

P.P.S. Pictured above is the view from our apartment. And at the top of this blog post, another view from our windows–sunrise over Clérigos Tower, the tallest tower in Portugal.

And below, a ceramic tile mural at a busy intersection in our neighborhood. I have no idea what it means. But it’s significant in that, while we’ve been here, at least, no one has tried to defile or remove it. Or for that matter, paid any attention to it at all.

Another example of different cultural attitudes?

Whatever … I leave it here for your consideration. And I hope a good laugh.